Iremember seeing his face and hearing his grunts, but I was lost in my ownsensations. I was talking, but it was gibberish. I imagined myself as aprincess on her wedding night. Again, I felt every stitch of my clothes -what little I had on me. When Greg came, I didn't want it to end. Iwanted him to fill me completely with his hot come. We were both soakingand panting and off in our own little worlds. We fell asleep again.Reality hit us when we awoke. Greg had to leave and I would have giveneverything for him to stay. I nearly cried from my desire for him. Evenif we just sat there and held each other all day long, it would have beenenough. I wanted to bathe him and feed him again and even dress him inhis own clothes. I wanted to comb his hair and tie his shoes. When heleft the house I wanted to run across the yard and give him one more bigkiss. It was so frustrating that I couldn't! Mom held me when I neededto cry. She didn't ask me about what we had done. She just rocked me onthe. Wilson asked me "Is this one of those progressive companies that has a day-care center right there to take care of your kids, so you don't have to farm them out?"I was a little stunned but said that I didn't know, but would look into it.I hung up the phone and looked out on the park. Mommies pushing carriages and Daddies playing catch with their sons were all I could see.Had Bill told his parents they would have grandchildren soon? Did Bill want to have a family right away? I thought we talked about this, but his parents seemed to expect grandchildren real soon. I couldn't have kids yet. I had to jump start my career, fulfill my contract, finish school. Surely they had to know I would finish school. How seriously had they taken our living arrangement? We acted married, yes, but we weren't going to have kids yet.I drove myself crazy with all of these questions, wondering what Bill expected from us, and what he told them. He was proud of my accomplishment, but he didn't really want me.
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